Adventures in Online Dating: North State Ghosts

I'll go ahead and declare my impromptu poll closed and give you all the 411 on why I asked about the ghosting.

As I mentioned a couple of months ago, I signed up for a dating website and the only reason I'm still bothering with it is because it was a mandatory 3-month minimum. 

Pretty sure I know why the minimum. No way you're going to find anyone worthwhile in a month. This website should just call itself The Leftovers. But I digress. 

Anyway the girl at issue I originally contacted at the end of last year and me not knowing my way around up here yet, didn't think to look up just how much distance there was between Chico and Manteca. She thanked me for reaching out, said she would be interested but because of the distance, it probably wouldn't work out. I looked it up. 2 ½ one-way?! You're right, my bad. That much distance would be a challenge if we were an established relationship, nevermind just getting to know one another. Good luck, peace out. Again, that was at the end of the year. 

Cut to two weeks later, she messages me totally out of the blue and follows up by asking how my dating experiences have been on the site. This was the weekend I ended up staying home from work, out sick. She's bemoaning how discouraging it all has been and we commiserate about the lack of quality people at this point. And that's how we ended up messaging back and forth for several hours. Came to find out a LOT about her and her 4 kids with her ex who cheated on her at minimum 7 times. And at least a few other kids from those dalliances.That's as much as she knew and caught him on. But she still kept taking him back. 

At this point, I'm already poking fun at her expense and I'm not sure she really understood when I was telling her they could have been guests on Jerry Springer or Maury Povich. Remember, she lives 2 ½ hours away. There's ZERO chance we're going to run into each other randomly. 

Our first phone call ran over 5 hours on Sunday night. Thank God it was a holiday weekend. We pick up the convo later Monday morning and another hourslong phone call past midnight. I had to go in to work in the morning and I was struggling. But she wanted another phone call Tuesday night. What can I say, I've been told I have a great phone voice. If you've been on a call with me, you can let me know. 🤷🏽‍♂️

I was at work Tuesday night past 9:30 and hadn't had dinner so it's about 10:30 before I'm calling and I told her I needed a hard stop at midnight, no matter what. She agreed. Bear in mind, most of our calls up to now, she had been doing a LOT of the talking. And of the few women I have been able to contact through the dating site up to this point, I feel like they just want to be heard and given the chance, will dominate the conversation. I've lost track of how many times they've been chattering away and I try to interject only for them to barely acknowledge what I said and they continue talking. Barely a word in edgewise. This girl was no different. This is important as there's a hard stop to our phone call. Oh, this is also the time she mentioned that her profile was incorrect. She didn't live in Manteca , she moved and "for some reason, it didn't update." Yeah, that reason is probably because you didn't take the minute and a half to do it. No, she currently lives in Modesto. Almost 30 minutes FURTHER away. She didn't think to mention that when she brought up how far away we lived from one another her first reply to me? Anyway, in those final 45 minutes of Tuesday night's call, she starts in again on another fucked up relationship from her past. As she continues, I'm starting to watch the clock. 

"oh yeah, hey what... Oh, ok, sure go on..." 

"Wow, that's crazy what abo.... Ok.."

This goes on past midnight until she finally pauses long enough for me to cut in. 

"Hey, it's after midnight and I need to get to bed." 

Naturally, she didn't want to end her therapy session but agreed anyway and I say, half asleep at this point, something like, "I wish we could have ended on a better note..." And she IMMEDIATELY called me out on that. I admitted, I misspoke, apologized, not at all what I meant other than, I did wish the conversation hadn't gone into such a downer territory, though I didn't say that. Again, it's after midnight and I'm already in bed. Nope, I could tell she was amping herself up for an argument.  Even going so far as to tell me that if I wanted her to change the topic, I should have said so. Bitch, I TRIED doing that for at least half an hour. FUCK that. Goodnight. 

The next morning, I still sent her a good morning text, she replied. That was Wednesday morning, just after 7 am. 

I figured I'd take a break, clear the air, after all, as upset as she was Tuesday night, I wasn't about to open up that can of worms. Let it rest for a bit. Thursday afternoon, she messaged me saying, "Well, looks like you've ghosted me..." Not even a day and a half and she declared I ghosted her. She takes a dig at me in that message. Pretty sure she was hoping I'd take the bait and reply, kick off that argument she never got to have. Fuck that, she can hang onto that, I'm too damn old to play these games. 

Giving Thanks 2023

This year...  I can't even come up with the words to convey everything I'm thinking, feeling about the challenges I've gone through, what 2023 has put me through and as we're on the precipice of a new year, life is really starting to look up. 

For the entirety of 2022 and starting off 2023, there was this spectre looming over me and my work situation, my career being on the line. Never knowing when my Board of Directors would finally drop the floor out from under me.  And to make matters worse, of the dozens of applications I filled out, I never even got a second look from most places.  Then things got worse. 

I've retold the story countless times, I'm sure a few of you could tell it back to me by rote. The fact that had I delayed seeking medical attention by even a day, my life would have been significantly more impacted than it did. That had I waited a second day, I wouldn't be here sharing this story...  I try not to focus on that, I really do. Sometimes my mind can't fully wrap around it.  And then the months, the MONTHS recovery took and I got to see just how strong my support system was behind me.  The numerous friends and family who stepped up, honestly, many of whom, I never expected it from. I'm getting all misty-eyed right now just reflecting on it. It truly feels surreal, like it all happened to somebody else.

And then, just as I'm starting to get back on my feet, just starting to get back to a 'normal' way of life, work puts the screws to me. It becomes an even more toxic environment to go to. There was truly no joy left at work, just waiting for the axe to fall. Then, a lifeline.

I had applied to the City of Chico for a new position they were filling and I took a flyer on it, let's see how I do. Got an interview that I felt pretty good about and was invited to fly up for a second round. That's promising, ok. And to be honest, I felt I nailed the second round. Someone would have to blow me out of the water. Yes, it could still happen but I was feeling it. Then in early October, I was offered the position. Oh, my God, yes!  Then the challenge begins. 

Having lived in one spot for over 8 years, you accumulate a LOT of stuff. And"with the help of friends and family, we managed to clean the place out, get me packed up and on the road. 

Friday will be my 3rd week since arriving into town. Tomorrow will be 2 weeks since I started my new job. It's going to take some time to still get used to everything. Hell, I'm still unpacking. But things are really heading in the right direction. Everyone I've met at work is genuinely appreciative of me being there, they're all looking forward to working with me and what I can bring to the table. Feels good to be wanted at work. 

Tomorrow I'll be breaking bread with a co-worker and her family. My boss has already invited me over for Christmas, in case I can't make it home for the holiday. 

To say I'm thankful, to say I'm grateful, just doesn't feel like enough. 

4 Months Later

4 months ago I woke up and immediately got ready to head in to Urgent Care. On Sunday, March 12th, getting out of the shower, I noticed a cut on my 4th toe on my left foot. I cleaned and dressed it, did everything you should do and 2 days later, the toe had turned black. By the morning of the 16th, there was significant swelling around my foot and pain when I walked. I knew it was going to be bad but had no idea just how severe the issue was going to be.

Almost as soon as I got to Urgent Care, they escalated me to the Emergency Room at the main hospital. Something I expected due to the discoloration. Honestly, at this point I expected to lose the toe. The podiatrist came in and told me I was going to be scheduled for surgery and they were going to transfer me upstairs to a room. And that surgery was scheduled for tomorrow morning, Friday. Then she dropped the bomb on me. Flesh Eating Bacteria. Ladies and gentlemen, we have just lost cabin pressure...  What... The... Fuck... 

What?! How?! Huh?? Spent most of the rest of the day trying to wrap my brain around that and the fact that I'm going to go into surgery. Mind you, I've never been under before and I don't respond well to local anesthetics. They often have zero effect on me. Yes, that's right. The reason I hate going to the dentist is because no matter how much Novocaine they shoot me up with, I can still feel the pain. Oh, no, don't be silly, you're only feeling the pressure.  Fuck you, doctor, that shit is PAIN. I know the difference. As a teenage, I would constantly get ingrown toenails and they would often need an outpatient procedure done at the podiatrist's office. And every single time, I would feel pain, no matter how many injections of anesthetics they gave me. Once, the podiatrist had to cut the bone in my big toe to prevent the toenail from growing further, thus preventing ingrown toenails in the future. I took 8, EIGHT, shots of local anesthetic at and around my toe. And I felt every single cut he made into skin and bone that morning. I was writhing in pain so much, I tweaked my back. So naturally, I asked going into surgery for my amputation to please knock me the fuck out. I do not want to be awake for this. 

The anesthesiologist did a great job, I have to say. In the pre-op room, she told me she was going to give me something and I should be out until after the surgery. When the time came, she gave me what's it was and I vaguely remember being wheeled into the operating room and being asked to move from the gurney to the bed. The next thing I recall is waking up in the recovery room about 2 1/2 hours later. Still March 16th.

The doctor came by a little while later to tell me how the surgery went. That she had to cut the toe and a couple other infected bones. The infection, however, was still present in the adjacent toes so they were going to keep a close eye on me and how it progressed. I might have to go back in for another surgery depending on how it went. She goes on to tell me the infection was so aggressive that if I had waited another day, I would have lost my leg. 

In the ensuing follow-up appointments, she kept dropping more bombshells on how dire the situation truly was. I had developed gas gangrene, which is why surgery was moved up a day. She felt I didn't have the time to wait overnight for surgery. From the time she saw me in the ER until the time of the surgery, a span of 7-8 hours, the infection had progressed so rapidly she thought she might have to amputate the entire front of my foot. All the toes and ball, leaving me with just a stump. She goes on to tell me that recovery could take up to a year. I shattered that timeline thanks to the wound vac and the home health nurses that took care of that. 

I am beyond relieved and eternally grateful to my podiatrist and the entire medical team that managed to save my foot and kept the infection under control that here I am, just 4 months later and well into my recovery. I told myself that I would be back by October. I'm beating my own projection by a few months. 

I'm no longer requiring any bandages, am wearing shoes again and relying on my cane less and less. 

On top of that, the massive change in lifestyle and eating habits brought about by this has created a major benefit as a side effect. I've lost so much weight, I'm down to what I weighed my senior year in high school. Going to work on conditioning as the strength in my foot returns. 

2023 has been a hell of a year so far. And we've barely passed the hallway point 

Blast from the Past

 Alright, this one's an odd one that I brought back a flood of memories and I'm trying to figure out...  well, no, I'm positive I figured out the why.  Allow me to address.

Several, SEVERAL years back, this was during Mad T's run at California Adventure to give you a timeframe.  I'm just really hazy on the EXACT date/year.  I want to say this was 2012 because it happened to fall on Christmas night.  What was I doing at Disneyland/DCA by myself on Christmas night?  Well, if it was 2012, then some of you might recall that was the year we lost dad.  And with his birthday falling on Christmas Day, I had already spent the night before and most of the day at my sister's.  But I didn't want to be by myself at home.  So I wandered over to Disneyland in the biting cold, over to the Mad T Party area, despite knowing there wasn't going to be any show going on and just had a few/several drinks to keep myself warm and prolonging heading home.  

It was while I was standing there along the railing, listening to the music that I saw this girl wandering around by herself.  She sort of hovered from one group of people to the next so I figured she was flying solo, too.  What struck me most was that hiding under her beanie was this straight, long, fine blonde hair.  If you've ever heard the term, cornsilk hair, that's EXACTLY what it looked like to me.  Captivating to watch, I've got to be honest.  Anyway, she's still wandering around and I sort of forgot about her when she suddenly appeared by my side.  She complimented me on something and it felt rather random.  But it also broke the ice.  I guess that's what she was doing in just trying to find someone to hang out with that night.  I returned the compliment, a genuine compliment about her hair.  And we just spent the next couple of hours talking.  

She was living up in Twentynine Palms at the time.  Which, if you know anything about the area, it's a military town.  Based on that, either she's a military brat or she was/is involved with a Marine. DING DING DING!  She WAS involved with a Marine but they were on the outs and she decided she was going to come to Disneyland (she was a passholder) without him on Christmas Day.  He was with his family.  Again, clearly on the outs.  She was staying at one of the nearby motels and at the end of the night, I offered to drive her to her place rather than walk the mile and a half from the park.  She accepted and we get to outside her room, she asks me to stay for just a second while she runs to the door and brings out her pup.  A little French Boxer named, Trouble.  

We made plans to meet up again at the parks for the next couple of nights while she was in town and stayed in touch even after she headed home.  I'd meet up with her again in the spring when she came back out with another friend of hers and so on it went for the remainder of the year, seeing one another every few months until she mentioned about a big life change.  Things with her and the Marine were long over and she couldn't stay in Twentynine Palms any longer, she was moving to Vegas.  We kept in touch for a while and then she was moving again, this time up towards the Reno area.  Communication slowed to only a few times a month at most.  I actually stayed in touch with her friend, Deanna, the one I met in the sping, more consistently.over this period of time.  Then Liz told me she was driving down to Newport with a friend who had a sick family member they needed to visit.  They were coming down in an RV but she'd let me know when she'd be free to meet up.  She never contacted me while she was down and pretty much stopped replying to any messages by the time she got back up to Reno.  And so it was to become another friendship that fizzled out.  

Until about two weeks ago.  

Out of the blue, I get an Instagram follow from Trouble.  Yeah, her dog.  And I'm gonna be honest, it took me a while to even realize who this dog was because I hadn't seen nor thought of him in at least 6 years.  I messaged back and while I awaited her response, I start going through the dog's Instagram and then find Liz's.  Well, this girl has had quite an adventurous few months.  
According to her social media posts (and gofundme page), Liz has:
Broken up with the guy she was living with because he was making death threats
She moved into a rental with a group of people after having lived in her car for a few weeks
While living in the rental, her ex stole her car, it was found 10 days later abandoned, window smashed
She went to confront him about it and somehow ended up getting arrested herself and spending 54 days in county
While she was in county, her roommates took all her possessions, even her chonies, and kicked her out because she hadn't paid her share of the rent in 2 months
Which is right around the time she somehow came across my profile again and Trouble started following me.  That last sentence is almost prophetic if I were gullible.  

So after I reach out to her to find out how she's been, she wanted a reminder as to where I lived because she wanted to get out of northern Nevada and thought she'd come back California.  
Uh-huh...  go on...
A friend of hers offered to drive and they were going to hit the road on Wednesday or Thursday of last week.  
O.k., hit me up when you get here, we'll meet up. 
A few days go by and I haven't heard back from her.  I mean, Reno to Orange County, even at a snail's pace is only a couple of days, tops.  So I hit her up, hey, did you gets get on the road yet?  What's going on?
She messages me and point blank asks me for $120.  Seems her friend's RV ran out of propane and they're close to freezing.  She even sent me a pic of Trouble's bowl of water frozen over.  

Weird that a ride to Orange County that should have taken no more than a couple of days has turned into some camping trip?  And the money was going to be used to rent a room to stay in and stay warm.  
Uh-huh...  Look, I know I was born at night but I wasn't fucking born last night.  

Girl, you've been out of my life for at least 6-7 years, we weren't ever a thing or even all that close, and now you're asking me for a handout?  Nah...  Find another sucker to leech off of.  After all, you know how easy it is to look up your name and Abby arrest records in Nevada?  Funny there aren't any returns this year where you were locked up for nearly 2 months. Try your sob story with someone more gullible. 

Close But No Cigar

Let's take you back a few years to when this long off-again/on-again whatever you want to call it started. It's 2009, Crescent City and my first trip to the national conference. I'm just trying to take everything in. The city, the sessions at the conference itself and the connections I would make with my peers from across the country that I still am on good terms with to this day. 

It's during the breaks between sessions, where I'm going back and forth from one lecture hall to another that I keep making eye contact with a girl behind the counter at the registration table. Brunette with curves in all the right places. A little mole on her chin, just about where it becomes her cheek.  And she's got a cute smile, similar to mine where her eyes almost shut.  She smiles at me just like that everytime I see her.  But as I don't know anybody there besides my boss, I never approach her. Frankly, after the conference ended, I didn't think about her again for a year. 

2010, now we're in DC and I actually get to talk to her a bit between sessions but that year we also had one of the largest group of people from our agency make the trip so I was busy herding cats some days while others when I did have a few minutes, I was sightseeing. I managed to walk the entire length of the Mall, from the Capitol building all the way to the Lincoln Monument and visited every Smithsonian along the way. No way I was walking all the way back though. I took the Metro from Georgetown station back towards my hotel. I wish I had thought to look for the Exorcist stairs while I was nearby. 

Anyway, Jennifer and I didn't really get to talk much but still plenty of eye contact and smiles in each other's direction throughout the week. 

In 2011, I missed out on the conference in San Francisco because that happened the same week dad went into the hospital. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I had left and something had happened. I know I repaid the agency for whatever costs they were out because I cancelled the day I was going to fly out. But while I didn't see her that year, upon the return of our office manager, she told me Jennifer had specifically asked about me and why I had missed the conference. I took that as a sign that I was missed. Thinking I'm going to finally do something the following year. 

2012, the conference is back in New Orleans and I even arrived a few days early just to go sightseeing.  I ended up spending most of my time with our legal counsel. She was cool to hang out with as we were pretty close in age. But during my time back at the hotel, I would make sure I stopped and spoke with Jennifer every chance I got and the first full night of the conference when everyone started making plans to head out to Bourbon Street, I asked her if she wanted to come out with our group. We had a few spots we were planning on hitting up. She declined because she had to be up and ready early to set up the registration table. Aww, men...  Sorry to hear that. Can't you at least come out for a little bit?  I'm really trying to get to spend some time with her on a more social level than what our interactions have been up to this point these last few years now. No, sorry...  Sheepish, apologetic smile and even that head tilt thing to let me know she just can't possibly. Alright, hopefully another night while we're all here in NOLA. Flash forward a few hours later on Bourbon Street, I'm with my group, a few strands of beads hanging off me. I'm pretty sure I had a drink in my hand. Gotta love open container laws.  😂 And walking up the street towards us is Jennifer and the other two members of the conference's executive team. They were quickly heading one direction and my group was going the other way. I just raised my drink in their direction and told Jennifer, "Good to see you could make it out tonight."  Yeah, it was petty but, can you blame me?  I was probably a bit cooler towards her for the rest of the week and every night I was back out with my group until the wee hours of the morning. Turns out, plenty of places on Bourbon Street really do have last calls. 

2013's conference was in Orlando and also happened to be the year I took my girlfriend with me so definitely no nothing happening with Jennifer that year and nothing again in 2014 when the conference was held in St. Paul and I was still involved with my girl. Of course I saw Jennifer in Orlando and in St. Paul and I was polite. Cordial, even. At the time, I was in a relationship and out of respect for that, I wasn't going to go out of my way to strike up a conversation with her. It's funny that the conference gala featured an open bar for the celebration.  Partly because, being in St. Paul, there really wasn't anywhere for us to go to celebrate afterwards.  Not much night life, if you can  believe it.  lol.  

Of course, that changed in 2015 and the conference was down in San Diego. For me, it was the easiest travel day ever. Got up a few hours before registration opened, packed my bags and drove on down the 5. Easy peasy. I didn't spend much time talking to Jennifer that year either. I had noticed a few of the other attendee regulars were monopolizing her free time. Like, literally every time I walked through during sessions, one or both of these guys were all over her. I thought it was weird because I knew both guys were/are married. I don't know them well enough to know if they would cheat on their wives, if they believe in the 500-mile rule or if they just enjoyed the company of an attractive women who literally could not get away because she's working. Either way, I didn't spend hardly any time with her that week. Not that it really should have mattered. I was supposed to have a friend/hook-up come down to see me before the end of the week. She and I had been messaging one another for weeks, I even got a handful of pictures of some creative angles of her in bed. So I wasn't too upset I wasn't getting any Jennifer time. At least I wasn't until my hook-up suddenly blew up at me over why *I* expected her to "drop everything" just to come down and see me in San Diego!?!  Um... because this is literally like the thing we both had been talking about for a while now. This wasn't just me making any demands, she was asking me about the view from the room just a few days before and then wanted to know how long she could stay. WTF???  San Diego was a bust on all fronts. The one saving grace that the conference provided, and it turned out to continue for the next several years was that I somehow became a magnet for drink tickets.  Even though everyone started the gala night with 2 drink tickets, somehow, everyone was giving me their 'extra' ticket and in some cases, both their drink tickets.  It would be rude of me to turn them down now, wouldn't it?  And on one of my many trips to get a refill at the bar, the NATOA President ran into me, we talked for a bit and she had a roll of drink tickets with her.  I didn't even ask and she peeled off at least 7 drink tickets for me right there.  Let's let that sink in for a bit...  KNOWING I started the night with the two that came with dinner, Jodie took 7 drink tickets from the roll and gave them to me.  As far as she knew, I was now up to 9 drinks, if I didn't share any with other people.  She didn't know I had another 4 extra tickets already in my pocket.  Lucky 13.  And that's before we ever left the hotel to go wherever we were going for the after-party.  

2016, the conference was in Austin and if I was getting cockblocked in San Diego, Austin was even worse because it was the hometown of one of the dudes that had been hitting on Jennifer the year before. Still married but taking up even more of her time than last year. Oh well... 🤷🏽‍♂️

In 2017 NATOA was in Seattle and I'll admit, I enjoyed myself in the city.  And this time around, while I was speaking with Jennifer and hanging out at the registration table with her often, I wasn't actively pursuing her attention as I had before.  Just doing my own thing with the other attendees.  And in fact, the night of the big gala, where once again I was hammered with too many drink tickets.  No, seriously.  I started the night with 2 and pretty much everybody at my table, all 6 of them, gave me their extra ticket.  Then the table next to us gave me 4.  THEN, my GM went out into the hallway and talked with one of the vendors about something and they both came back, the vendor gave me another 4...  I literally could not keep up with all the alcohol.  How often have you EVER heard me say that?  After the gala itself, we had a group of people trying to track down some college bar for the after-party of drinking, dancing and karaoke.  Everyone ended up taking different Ubers to the bar and the group I ended up with started with 6 and we started to load in.  Local girl stayed up front with the driver and I piled in the 3rd row with one of the women I had been talking to waiting for the ride.  By the time we were pulling away, our group of 6 ended up being just the 3 of us.  Girl in the front and me and this lady all the way in the back.  I could blame what happened next on the alcohol so I'm going to do exactly that.  Let's be honest, I had at least a 18 bottles of beer going through me by that point so logic and reason were foreign concepts to me by that point.  So, in the backseat as the Uber's driving us around, I looked down and noticed my lady friend's dress had ridden up exposing plenty of nylon-clad knee.  I just reached down and started massaging it.  I heard her catch her breath and tense up for just a second.  I waited.  She relaxed and ever so slightly turned her knee towards me, closer to my leg.  Well, that's just an invitation if you ask me.  I was stroking her leg pretty much from the top of her calf to her knee to just about the hem of her dress and a little underneath/inside her thigh.  I think if the drive to the bar had lasted any longer, I would have been further up her dress than I ended up.  To be honest, the rest of the night was kind of a blur.  More drinks, at that bar I ran into a friend from high school who had been in town for a concert with her sister.  Utterly random.  Dancing, karaoke, a stop at Dick's.  Some burger stand that somebody local referred to as "Seattle's In-N-Out."  Pssh, hardly.  More like the old .25 cent hamburger stand.  Uber back to the hotel for the after-after-party in one of the suite's that the past president was booked in.  I left probably around 3 am to get SOME sleep because my airport shuttle was picking me up around 8 a.m.  

2018 everything went kind of wild in Philadelphia. I briefly saw Jennifer in the first couple of days after I arrived and the first big group event of that year was a trip to the ballpark to watch the Phillies. While I was hanging out, catching up with my conference brethren, it was the one and only year my editor was invited to go on the trip and at the game, he struck up a conversation with someone else who was also new. They had met earlier in the day at the first-time attendees mixer, so they just kept chatting away at the game. She would make a return appearance the following night when she was invited to our chapter dinner. The eatery had some video games, pinball and a pool table. Jennifer also dropped by and ended up sitting out on the patio with the regular guys who were always on her. NBD at this point for me. I sat to watch the pool game between my editor and new girl, Elizabeth. And during her turns to shoot, she keeps wandering over, closer and closer to me. Before long, she's standing in front of me so the only thing I see while my editor's taking his turn is her backside. And I'm not gonna lie, it was a pretty nice view. A few turns later and she's alternated from nearly straddling my right leg to standing between my open legs. I'm pretty sure I'm in the clear when her next break, I'm holding her by the hips as she rocks back and forth. The next time she comes over in tracing the seams on her jeans. At the waist, her back pockets, her inseam ..  yeah, I'm pretty much groping her at this point. About 20 seconds at a time, between her turns to shoot pool. This goes on for about half an hour before we all decide to head back to the hotel. It was after midnight and they had sessions to go to that morning, I was moderating another. As we start walking, the same group of people we were with were STILL out on the patio drinking, smoking and chatting it up. We wave at them goodnight and we slowly head back the 6 blocks. 

Back at the hotel, I tell my editor to go on ahead, I'll make sure Elizabeth gets back to her room safely. What can I say, ever the gentleman. Back at her room I kiss her goodnight and we're suddenly in the entryway to her room making out, panting, aggressive until maybe 15 minutes later just as clothes were starting to come off, she stops us. I think you better go.  With a heavy sigh and a drop of my head in acknowledgement, I hesitantly agree and head back to the elevators and who do I meet exiting the elevator as I reach it, Jennifer. She was a little taken aback to see me. I quickly said, just walking Elizabeth back to her room, making sure she got back safe. Jennifer nods and smiles, ok. Goodnight. Considering the headstart we had on the group we left back at the restaurant and the fact that I was just now heading up to my room after dropping off Elizabeth, it wouldn't take a genius to realize it took me far too long to have just "dropped her off." Hah. I mean, I tried, TRIED to make some headway with Jennifer but she wasn't giving me a chance and let's face it, how many years should I keep trying?  

Weird dynamic started to happen when during a few lunch sessions when I started to chat with this girl from Washington State. She just happened to walk past looking for a table to sit at and our table had a couple of empty seats. I'm not gonna lie and say that I wasn't interested. A cute, thick, YOUNG redhead. OMG, she was young!  26, I think?  Maybe 27? And during the evening mixers, we'd find each other to hang out with. Ok...  Now this is a dilemma I've only seen on TV and in movies. And the middle night of the conference there was a massive group of us at one of the nearby bars. We had already hit this place up a couple of nights already. The second night was even karaoke and I can't remember what song I got up to do. 

Anyway, 3rd night at the bar, Red's mingling, I'm at one of the tables our group hoarded, sitting next to Elizabeth and Jennifer shows up and sits at the table directly across from me. I know I reacted unusually because she said something about it. As we start that banal chitchat, Elizabeth strikes up a conversation with the guy sitting next to her and slowly turns her back completely to me as she gets fully involved in her exchange. I visually overreact to make a show of it to Jennifer, just to get a laugh. And she does. So now that I have an audience, I turn into a child when I start harassing Elizabeth in her convo. Oh, I'll admit, it was totally petty and childish what I started to do. But like I said, I was playing for my audience and her laugh. I make a big show to nudge or lean into Elizabeth who at first throws her shoulder back at me. I keep it up. Her elbow comes back to let me know I need to stop. But you know I won't.  I look over to Jennifer and smile conspiratorially at her.  Elizabeth's still trying to stay focused on her interaction when I finally poke. One was all it took as she swatted her hand back towards me and scooted away from me. I turn and raise my eyes in 'shock' at Jennifer and we both share a laugh. We kind of sit there awkwardly sharing the moment and got distracted when Elizabeth and the guy both get up and head to the bar together. As we watch them walk away, Jennifer and I turned back to look at one another, mouths comically agape in mock shock.  That latest a few seconds as one of the cockblockers came over, barely acknowledged me and told Jennifer, "Hey, we're all gonna go to this other place..." and he keeps talking to the point where I just excuse myself and head back to the hotel. Typical. 

The following day there was a bit of a turn of events. Once again, Red joined my table for lunch, we sat next to one another during the sessions and agreed to meet up downstairs in the hotel to walk over to Reading Terminal Market for the big mixer event that night. The organization rented out Reading Terminal just for our group. A few of the vendors and eateries were open just for us and it was all paid for, including the alcohol. After finding a few things to eat and drink, Red and I spent the entire rest of the time of the mixer sitting at an open lunch counter just getting to know one another. It was really just chill, cool. As the event shut down, a massive group of us went across the street to a sports bar and another group about the same size went to look for another karaoke bar. The sports bar was desolate though. Our group was literally the customers in the place. Most of the rest of our group decided they wanted to find that karaoke bar. Meanwhile just a handful of us stayed for a drink. Myself, Red, my editor and a couple others. A couple of drinks and we all decide to head back to the hotel. Red and I aren't quite arm in arm but we're pretty damn close to it, practically leaning into one another for those couple of blocks. I am DEFINITELY walking her to her door.

We get back to the hotel and sitting in the lobby of the hotel bar is my agency's attorney. We wave as we walk by and hw stops us, flags us over and invites us to join him for a drink. Well, it would be rude of us to turn down this generosity so we so join him. A few drinks in and he starts talking about work. Ok, now he can write this off as an expense b Clever! 😉 And before we know it, he's railing against my GM. Well shit...  Everything I've been complaining about for the past few years, he was already in tune to. What. The. FUCK?!? 😱 Oh my God! This started a flow ..  we all just started talking about his useless he was. We weren't holding anything back. And unfortunately, this whole thing went on far too long for Red. She had checked out and I don't blame her. I offered to walk her up to her room but she politely declined. Yep, I fucked that one up by staying too long in the bar with our attorney. 

The following night was the big gala and she was dressed in this blue velvet dress that just...  Salt on the wound. Man, I fucked that up. 

The after-party, we were kind of just bar/club hopping with our regular group. I saw Elizabeth in this red dress that fit her just right and a plunging neckline. Anyway, we come and go in a few different places for the next few hours and then sometime after midnight we all (there were maybe 10 of us left at this point) were all dancing in this gay club. And the only reason I knew it was a gay club was because everyone in the group made it a point to repeatedly tell everyone else that we were going to a gay club. Geez, Minnesota, relax. It's no big deal. It's just a club where even the guys know how to dance. 

I have a few more beers and end up on the dance floor opposite Jennifer. We were probably out there a good half-hour, 45 minutes just working up a sweat. The conference was officially over, a lot of people were flying home in the morning, they started trickling out one by one.  I was staying an extra day just to do more sightseeing but I left the club with the last of them and just outside the front doors, the regulars ask stopped for their mandatory smoke break. I gave Jennifer a pleading look. She smiled with her eyes and imperceptibly shrugged her shoulders. This is goodnight then. I bid my adieu and wished them all a safe trip home as I headed up and thinking about my plans for the morning. 

I managed to get in most everything I wanted to visit that last day before the rain came down. It wasn't heavy, not like Florida or New Orleans were. But it was a good downpour. As I was heading back to my room, I ran into Jennifer and Tonya in the lobby. Tonya was Jennifer's boss. They were waiting for their shuttle to the airport. They had already checked out and had their luggage at the porter's station out front. After a few minutes, Jennifer has that nervous look as she's eyeing in the direction of the restrooms. She excuses herself only to come back almost immediately. 

"That was fast."

"No, the reasons are only for hotel guests. I don't have my key card anymore."

"Oh?,* I asked.  "Here, use mine." She quickly thanked me and before she even turns to walk away, Tonya flippantly says, "After all these years, she finally got your room key."   😶  Wut? Jennifer instantly turned the deepest shade of red I've ever seen that wasn't sunburnt. Her eyes go wide as she turned and did her best to not run away after that comment from Tonya. I sat there in stunned silence for about a minute then the only thing I could think of to say was, "If only I had known sooner."

You have to admit, that was kind of a bombshell to drop on me after nearly a decade. Seriously, since 2009 we've been like this oscillating wave pattern where it seems like we're getting close then veering off to the opposite sides of the country for the next 11 1/2 months. It's been...  Well, it's been nothing but a long, drawn out tease for all this time. 

We soon said our goodbyes once again and we wouldn't see one another again until:

Tampa Bay, 2019. What made Tampa an interesting mix was that it also happened to be Elizabeth's home town. Well, maybe not exactly but it was less than a 2-hour drive for her. Just far enough that she stayed at the hotel with the rest of the conference folks. And once again, I was totally blocked out by one of the same guys as always. But I ended up spending MUCH more time with Elizabeth this trip. So much so that I think several of the other attendees thought we were a thing. Every session seated next to one another, lunches together and wherever the party went out at night, we'd end up be each other's side until the end of the night when I'd walk her back to her room and a hug and kiss goodnight. Yeah, I guess we had become one of those conference couples by that point culminating in the second to last night on the party cruise. By that point, I'm positive everyone else just assumed we were a thing the way we were acting out. Then the after -party in one of the vendor's suite. I think Florida had JUST become a 'green state" and this vendor brought his own massive stash. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE was partaking. Including Elizabeth. Although, I don't think she was ready for the effects and needed to get back to her room ASAP. Lol. I walked her back and an all-too brief make out session where we were borderline groping one another in front of her room door for several minutes before she finally broke it up and said goodnight. That was nice. 

I wandered my way back to the party and spent the next couple of hours people watching. Folks that I've known several years now acting in ways I never expected lol. A couple of PIOs from a city I worked with, married women in their late 40s, were throwing themselves at some of younger guys from Texas. Honestly, I think the boys were scared a little by their aggressiveness. 

The next and final night of the conference was the gala and Elizabeth wore this incredibly form fitting black and blue floral print dress. She looked incredible. The after party was in Ybor City where we went bar hopping at a few spots with a pretty sizable group that last night. And a few hours in, Elizabeth once again needed to go. Like right then and there. I said goodnight to the party crew, we got into an Uber and after a few moments of quiet, we started making out in the backseat of the driver's car. Lol. I left him a pretty good tip. We behaved walking through the hotel lobby until we got into the elevator and we were pawing at each other once again. The walk down the corridor to her room, we were acting like teenagers, unable to keep our hands off each other. We got to her room and after a few more minutes, she invited me in for a nightcap. 

I didn't stay the night, she had to drive home the following morning and I needed to pack up my stuff although my flight back wasn't until almost 3. 

We kept in touch but living on opposite coasts, the time zone differences made staying in touch problematic. Plus she still had a couple of teenagers at home so when she was off work, she was dealing with their lives as well. 

2020 was supposed to have been in Denver but with the world shutting down, everything got cancelled. The following year the conference was virtual. That was awkward as working out of the office meant I was still working while attempting to attend virtual sessions. Plus no time whatsoever to socialize with anyone. 

This year the conference was in Denver. To make up for the missed 2020 event. I didn't get to attend due to my agency's dire financial situation. 

Elizabeth got married earlier this year. She must have met the guy during the pandemic and things flourished. Good for her. 

Jennifer, I have no idea what her status is at this point. 

But the 2023 conference is scheduled to be in Long Beach in October. Lol

My month and practically in my backyard?  Are you kidding me?! I can't wait. 

Representation Matters

 This is going to be a topic I've never really spoken out about even though it has been a major factor in my life.  Growing up in white bread Orange County in the 70s and early 80s, most everyone around me was Caucasian or Mexican/Latino/Hispanic.  I can remember one Hawaiian kid and there was a Filipino family who lived down the street from us but in my mind, they were practically Mexican.  I mean, they had the same color skin.  That's literally just the way it was and the naïve way I thought at the time..  The vast majority of my friends were white because that's pretty much all I had around me except for the handful of other Mexican kids.  It's something I never thought of because at the time, I was truly color-blind.  Race wasn't something a kindergartener through 5th grader ever thought of...  At least, I didn't.  This despite one event that happened, I believe it was my 1st grade year and I was running late to class.  A small group of probably 3rd or 4th grade kids were blocking the hallway entering the school and as I'm trying to get past them, they start taunting me, calling me a 'Dirty Mexican.'  At the time, the only thing I was thinking was, 'I'm not dirty, I shower every day.'  I genuinely didn't understand what they meant by it at the time. 

It was when I was moved into a GATE Program...  Let me back up a bit, at the time GATE didn't exist, it was called MGM.  And holy shit, if I didn't get asked by just about everyone I knew about how we were making movies.  Neighbor even asked me if I knew when the next Star Wars was going to come out.  Anyway, it was in these classes, that I had to get bussed to a whole new school to attend classes at, and I started meeting kids of other nationalities and races.  Hey, you're Japanese?  How cool!  How do you say this in Japanese?  I got that all the time about Spanish, so it was funny to me that I could ask someone else something I didn't know.  But again, it didn't really matter to me at the time who was what.  We were all classmates, most of us friends, there were some kids in the classes that irritated me to no end but I imagine it was like that everywhere else.  

But as I said, growing up in predominately white Orange County, I literally didn't meet a Black kid until 5th grade.  Richard, his name was.  He lived in the same neighborhood as a few of my other classmates so we'd either walk to school and home as a group or one of our parents would drive us there and back.  Sometimes we'd take the school bus and listen to the Mighty 690 on those rides.  Oddly enough, and I don't recall what it was that even caused some friction with Richard but one day, he decided he was going to call me out and fight after school.  I literally cannot, for the life of me, remember what it was that set him off other than, he suddenly got a chip on his shoulder one day and told me he was going to wait for me by the fence on the way out of the schoolyard.  Mind you, in the 5th grade I was the biggest kid in class.  I don't mean fattest/heaviest set, although I was that, too.  But also the tallest.  My final year in elementary, it was a daily thing to see who was the biggest between me and Wes.  Seriously.  But in 5th grade, it was me all the way.  And that could have been Richard's issue at the time.  Trying to "prove" himself by taking on the biggest kid in class.  But, being the biggest also meant I know what I could have done to him if I had allowed any fight to occur.  I would have mopped the floor with him and then be the one in trouble because 'I should have known better.'  Not worth it, so I took the bus home that day.  
I don't think Richard even finished out the school year with us, so part of me wonders what ever happened to him.  If the family moved away or he was having other issues at the time that maybe his parents thought they needed to reign him in.  I'll never know.  But this story is starting to drift from my original topic.  

It's in this backdrop of suburbia that I grew up color-blind and just accepted everything that was around me at face value.  And in 1977, like most other kids across America and the world at the time, we witnessed the spectacular that was, Star Wars!  The story of a boy, a girl and a universe.  Now, with a tagline like that, you cannot possibly tell me that Lucas always intended for Luke and Leia to be brother and sister.  But that didn't matter at the time.  I was enamored with the entirety of it.  Spaceships, aliens, laser swords, masked villains dressed in black with an asthma problem.  It never crossed my mind just how lily white the entire cast was.  And then to find out years later that the voice of the bad guy, Darth Vader, was really the voice of a black man?  Pretty much the only character of color within the Star Wars universe.  At least until the guy from the Colt 45 commercials was in The Empire Strikes Back.  And he was a bad guy too, until he wasn't.  

But it was in these films, and as much as I love Star Wars,  it was coming to grips with what I started to realize once I was getting older, into my high school years.  In the story of a far off distant universe, there didn't seem to be a lot of people of color.  And hardly anyone that looked like me.  A fantastic universe filled with giant talking slugs, little green elves with magic powers, even people that looked like fish.  But hardly any brown people...  In fact, in the original trilogy, I can't think of a single brown person once you get past Billy Dee Williams.  How...  disappointing.  Where were the heroes that looked like me?  

And that's been a constant criticism of Hollywood.  By and large, when you DO see a person of color, they're often the maid or the gardener or the street thug that gets beat up by the middle aged white guy when confronted.  

It's only been in recent years we're finally starting to see representation in popular culture.  Positive representation matters.  While there have been plenty of minority lead features, we might only have seen one Latino character in TV and films and they've usually been played by Hector Elizondo, Miguel Ferrer or Edward James Olmos.  Going further back, it was always Ricardo Montelban or Anthony Quinn.  Bear in mind, for the purposes of this post, I'm going to use Latino/Latina for simplicity.  I don't want to get into the whole discussion over Latinx/Hispanic/Chicano/etc.  Roles were few and far between and always fell into the laps of these fine actors.  Believe me, I hold nothing against them, they're all very talented artists.  But rather, the studio system only seems to allow for one or two minority actors to take on all those roles.  See also; John Leguizamo, Salma Hayek, Danny Trejo, Benjamin Bratt.  Why couldn't these actors play more mainstream roles that weren't associated to a nationality or stereotype?  

Thankfully, that finally started to change just before the millennium.  And the first one I really got excited about was in the Star Wars universe when Jimmy Smits was cast as Bail Organa.  HOLY SHIT!!!  I can't even describe how excited I was for that.  One of the founders of the Rebellion, the adoptive father of Princess Leia and he's Puerto Rican!  FUCK YEAH!!!  The part itself stayed relatively minor but it was still a notice that a change was underway.  And it was in the sequel trilogy we got another big part go to a Latino actor.  Resistance X-Wing pilot, Poe Dameron was to be played by Oscar Isaac, whose mother is Guatemalan and father is Cuban.  Oh, you didn't know he was one of us?  I guess if you knew his full name was actually Óscar Isaac Hernández Estrada, you might have figured it out sooner.  Which makes the whole 'fan outrage' over Kelly Marie Tran and John Boyega so confusing.  Obviously, that toxic 'fanbase' were upset to see minorities in Star Wars.  "A Black Stormtrooper?!  How DARE they!"  But they let Oscar Isaac slide.  I don't get it either.  

Later, Rogue One introduced us to Cassian Andor, played by Mexican actor Diego Luna and he's reprising his role in the Disney+ series named after his character.  Then the Mandalorian himself, Pedro Pascal, is Chilean.  And I honestly couldn't be happier.  Our people, nuestra gente, are finally seeing a foothold in the Galaxy Far, Far Away and I'm here for it.  Literally, I am alive to see it happen!  

Now if we can make some more inroads into the comic book universe.  There haven't been many Latino superheroes in comics as a whole.  So the few parts that end up with Latino actors are few and far between.  John Leguizamo in the 90s Spawn film as Violator/Clown.  Jessica Alba, who is a few generations removed from her ancestral roots, she has to go back to her great-grandparents for any ties to Mexico.  And I thought her recent diatribe regarding how Hollywood needs to do better in casting minorities in the comic book genre seemed a little tone deaf.  Considering how much the industry has improved from the days when she threw on a blonde wig and blue contacts to portray Sue Storm in the awful Fantastic Four movies.  

After nearly a decade of predominantly cis, white male superheroes, at least the MCU is expanding to include (inclusive!) female heroes, more minorities and actors of color.  Xochitl Gomez, America Chavez, the aforementioned Oscar Isaac was Moon Knight.  Salma Hayek, half Mexican, Half Lebanese as Ajak, leader of the Eternals.  Benicio Del Toro, Puerto Rican, was Tanaleer Tivan, The Collector.  And while it was a Fox film before Disney swallowed it up, The New Mutants featured Anya Taylor-Joy portraying Russian Illyana Rasputin/Magik, sister of Colossus of the X-Men.  Anya's father being half Argentinean and she was raised in Argentina, she speaks flawless Spanish.  Also in The New Mutants, Henry Zaga, a Brazilian, was Sunspot.  And come October, Gael García Bernal will appear in Werewolf By Night.  

It brings me great joy to know that future little brown boys and girls will have someone to look up to that looks like them.  And if you don't think that's an important step, then why is it becoming such a hard thing to accept for the incel toxic fandom to see people of color in "their" stories?  

Happiest Place on Earth

 Growing up in the shadow of Disneyland, almost literally...  No, really.  We grew up in Stanton, a straight shot down Katella from The Magic Kingdom.  Summer nights we would walk to the corner towards the park and have a fairly clear view of Disneyland's nightly fireworks in the distance.  Only dreaming of being in the parks and just having to look straight up to see the bright and blinding lights overhead.  Sometimes when dad was feeling especially generous, and our relatives from Texas happened to be in town, he'd load up everyone in the van, my uncle's station wagon, and we'd head to the Disneyland hotel to watch the Dancing Waters show.  It's funny, when the World of Color show finally premiered at Disney's California Adventure, it immediately brought back memories of the old Dancing Waters show at the hotel.  Literally just fountains of water with lights of color projected through them and choreographed to music.  The waterfall footpaths we'd wander around.  And for a few of the braver kids, we'd load up into the glass elevator on the outside of the hotel tower and ride it up to the top floor restaurant/lounge.  The brief, seconds-long ride would give us the best views of the park.  Even just a glimpse of the mountains,, The Matterhorn, Space Mountain and the newly opened Big Thunder Mountain.  Splash Mountain wouldn't open for another 20 years.  Once we'd reach the top floor and the doors opened, the host would smile kindly, let us know we needed reservations and send us back down.  

Sometimes, just sometimes, we might get treated to a ride on the monorail.  Back then, you didn't need park admission to ride it, but you also weren't allowed to disembark at the Tomorrowland station.  You're in the bubble leading or trailing vehicle and just got the greatest tease ever.  A ride THROUGH Disneyland.  So close, and yet, so far...  

As I've said, Disneyland was just a special treat for us.  I keep thinking back to how much, or rather, how little money dad made.  Even for the 1970s and early 80s, he didn't bring home all that much.  But he still did his best to keep us as close to having a 'normal' life as kids as he could provide.  This included visits to Disneyland, maybe once a year for our birthdays.  And believe me, we always looked forward to those trips.  Even as I was getting old enough, and maybe needed a bike to ride to and from school...  By this time, I was already getting bussed to Patton elementary for my GATE classes.  And Dad wanted me to have my own bike, maybe for exercise, maybe he wanted me to get out and about more often.  This one particular year, he even strongly suggested that for my birthday, he would buy me a new bmx bike.  Probably a Huffy or a Kent.  I declined.  I wanted that Disneyland trip once again.  Spending a day at the park with my little brother and sister was more important for me than a bike that I was only going to get to use.  Years later, I was reminded of that bike when I found out my nephew, Jordan, wanted to go to Disneyland for his birthday and he saved up enough money not only for his own admission but he saved up enough to pay for his older brother, Christian, to join him.  

I can vaguely remember some of my earliest trips.  Just flashes of moments in the recesses of my mind.  But I can recall riding the People Mover and the Tron tunnel part of the ride.  Felt like we were in the movie for those few moments.  I remember the Sky-way and riding through the Matterhorn.  The old Adventure Through Inner Space where Star Tours sits now.  I remember the Motor Boat Cruise ride and how Autopia had two completely different ride entrances.  One in Tomorrowland, which still exists and the old Fantasyland side of the ride.  Mission to Mars before being gutted and turned into a lousy pizza restaurant.  

I remember riding Star Tours the summer it opened, 1987.  I had just turned 15, with me were a couple cousins and my brother.  The wait time was something like 3 hours.  No fast passes, no lightning lanes, nothing but the wait.  And after about an hour, Carlos started to get fussy.  What 12-year-old is going to want to continue to stand and wait.  Before long, he was ready to bail and I refused.  We'd already waited 90 minutes, we're halfway through.  Then he started to cry and I was about ready to give him something to cry about.  It was a battle but he wasn't going to win.  lol eventually, after we finally got through the ride an hour and a half later, we were all smiles and I asked him after all that, "Was it worth it?!"  He embarrassedly dipped his head, and with a smile, "yeah..."  
23 years later on a trip to the park with my sister, her family and our parents, mom and dad finally got to experience Star Tours for themselves.  The wait time was nowhere near 3 hours by then but mom and dad loved the ride just the same.  They were practically giddy coming off it.  

Many of my favorite moments in life happened in those parks.  Riding Monster's Inc. with my nieces and hugging my niece and declaring, "Oh, you're my little Boo!" coming right off the ride, her hugging my arm right back and saying, "and you're my Kitty!"  Every time I hear the opening strains of the Main Street Electrical Parade, the corners of my mouth start to turn up until it's silly grin covering my face.  The first real roller coaster I ever rode without dad sitting next to me was Space Mountain.  I was maybe 11.  In line was me, Dad, my little brother and our aunt, Lucy.  Lucy was 15, Carlos was 8 and I asked Dad if I could ride with Carlos.  Dad was a little taken aback that I asked and also a little proud that I wanted to go on without him.  He made sure to tell mom once we met back up with them.  

I remember the changeover from the ride ticket coupon books to 'unlimited' passes.  Mom had countless ticket books at home filled with A, B and a few C unused tickets still attached.  D and E tickets were always the ones used up first.  I mean, who wanted to spend an A ticket to ride the firetruck up Main Street?  The early days of the unlimited passes, Disney asked you wear the pass, attached by a safety pin usually.  This is so that the ride attendants wouldn't bother to ask for your ticket before boarding.  

How many people have come and gone through my life and Disney happened to be a central part of the story.  The countless people I met and departed in the moments I was in the park, a thousand little interactions, mostly good.  The family from Seattle who were boarding the train at Tomorrowland station and suddenly needed to exit so their son could use the restroom.  I stopped them and let them know that if they rode through to New Orleans Square, their intended destination, they could exit there and immediately to the right is a restroom.  Yes, I knew the parks layouts so well. I could direct you to the nearest restroom regardless of where in the parks you happened to be at any given moment.  
Or the people who were around a little longer, some good, some bad.  Ex's and potential ex's, future ex's lol...  You get the idea.  I always said Disneyland was actually a GREAT first date idea because you get to see your intended at their best and potentially at their worst, all within the span of a day.  How much can they allow themselves to enjoy being in the moment?  Will the music or a churro make them smile?  How will they deal with the high stress situation of being surrounded by thousands of people, screaming kids, random strangers bumping into you while you've been on your feet all day.  It's the ultimate stress test.  
One particularly bad first date, this girl had been hyping herself up as being the better Astro-blaster shooter than I was.  I never told her that my best score was over 2 million, I just let her jabber away.  Mind you, even before this, she was practically planning on us being together for a while, Disneyland was just going to be our First date of many to come.  Eh, we'll see.  By the time we met up, something changed in her attitude and after I handily beat her at Astro-Blasters, her attitude went from bad to worse until she finally stopped in front of the Golden Horseshoe, she turned, said to me, "You know, this isn't going to work out."  I just said, "Oh, thank God." turned and walked away.  
Conversely, meeting a girl waiting in line on opening day for Guardians of the Galaxy.  We spent the entire 90 minutes talking and after the ride, she went to her shift at some restaurant in Hermosa Beach and I never saw her again.  

Oh, I've also made some great friends along the way.  A few have even managed to remain friends to this day.  Not a whole lot but quality over quantity matters the most.  Riding Tower of Terror multiple times in the final weeks before they shut it down for the Guardians overlay.  Opening Day of Avengers Campus and the hours long lines to get into the area after already riding the Spiderman ride first thing that morning.  Paint the Night, When can we do this again?  Even going to the parks with my friends and family and their own kids...  Nieces and nephews...  

And after nearly 20 years as an annual passholder, it finally reached their breaking point for me.  Cost-wise, the restrictions on the use (reservations), and uncertainty in my own life, I just couldn't continue.  

But this isn't goodbye.  It's been too ingrained in my life, in the story of Louie.  Hell, the story of how I was labeled King Louie is also a Disney story,  This isn't goodbye.  But it is so long for now.  
See you real soon...